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How to Stop the Fight or Flight Response

Updated: Jun 16, 2023

how to stop the fight or flight response

Whether it is panic attacks or anger outbursts or panic attacks, the fight or flight response is triggered resulting in extremely dysregulated children. Unfortunately, most people do not recognize what is happening inside and feel completely out of control. It may result in aggression, withdrawal, meltdowns, or defiance. The child does not want to act this way, but they are in survival mode.

When the body feels threatened the fight or flight response is triggered. This causes the heart to beat faster, increased speed of breathing, and many other symptoms. Some people feel light headed, some describe it as going black for a few seconds. Most people will clench their fists and will have tense muscles. The body is prepared to run or to fight. If this response is triggered, it is difficult to make good decisions and have self-control.


Body awareness is one of the foundational skills I teach as a counselor. Children (adults, too!) need to learn how their bodies work, why they feel out of control, and how to calm down. They also need to become aware of their triggers so they can plan for how they will deal with the triggers in the future.

First, I like to draw a picture of a body and have them show where they feel their anxiety or anger and explain how they feel. Each person can have different symptoms and the children need to be aware of what their symptoms are and what is happening in their bodies when these symptoms show up.

anger body signals

Secondly, I like to have them make an anger or anxiety meter. We discuss various levels of anxiety or anger. If they are able to recognize that they are being stimulated, they can implement coping skills before it gets out of control.

anger meter

The third aspect is identifying appropriate coping skills. The primary coping skill to address the fight or flight response will be slow, deep breathing. However, many children need more than one skill, as when they are overwhelmed breathing alone may not help. I like to show them the turtle technique or a more grown-up version of this would be putting their head on their desk with arms folded underneath. Other ideas are progressive relaxation, thought-stopping and replacement techniques, squeezing something, and seeking out an adult if necessary.

Panic attacks and anger outbursts are quite difficult for children to deal with at school. There is often fallout afterward, such as embarrassment or punishment. When children are aware of why their body is responding in such an aggressive way, they are able to take control of the situation and calm down before they lose control. You may consider putting together a coping skill toolbox for kids to have on hand when they are triggered.

Photo by from Pexels


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