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Parenting Pointers: A Roadmap to Parenting

Updated: Jul 18, 2023


This is a central hub for parenting tips, skills, and supports.

Parenting is hard and complicated. Children all have different temperaments, personality styles, special needs, and tendencies. Each parent has their own set of needs, expectations, and histories that color their parenting style. Putting together a parenting plan that will produce secure, well-adjusted children is a tedious task. This roadmap helps parents along the way. While there is no comprehensive parenting guide, this will introduce evidence-based aspects of parenting that will help your children thrive even in a chaotic world.


This guide provides resources for parents with children from birth until they are grown. It offers positive parenting techniques and tips to improve connection and attachment, avoid power struggles, and help children problem-solve. Each stage in parenting comes with its own challenges. This guide will point parents toward helpful resources for every step along the way.


Attachment / Bonding

Forming a secure attachment to your child is the most important aspect of parenting. This article teaches parents how to bond with their children.

How to Form a Secure Attachment

Forming a strong attachment to your child is the first goal of parenting. This strong attachment helps children feel safe and secure in the world and provides trust within your relationship. This bond will set the stage for future openness and connection. It is never too late to start building a secure attachment. You can read more here.


The 5 Love Languages are different ways that people give and receive love from others. This article will help families find ways to communicate love in a meaningful way to one another.

5 Love Languages

Understanding the love languages of your family members will bring an understanding of the needs and wants of each person in the family. This article explains the 5 Love Languages and provides resources for more information.

 

Communication

A person's communication style can predict whether or not their relationship will be successful. This article will help people learn healthy communication skills to nurture their relationships.

Healthy Communication

Communication is a vital part of relationships. Your communication style can predict whether or not your relationships will be successful. You are not doomed forever if your communication is lacking. We've got you. This article presents skills to help improve communication and make your relationships stronger.


Communication has a cleansing, nurturing affect on relationships and helps wash out misconceptions and frustrations. This article focuses on how to have positive communication skills.

Communication is the Plumbing

This article is one of a series about building strong relationships that will withstand the test of time. I highly recommend reading the whole series. Consider your relationships like a building. It needs a strong foundation, frame, and interior structure. Communication is what keeps everything flowing.

 

Parenting Skills

Logical consequences help children learn how to problem solve and become responsible for their behavior.

Logical Consequences

Using logical consequences for behavior is one of my favorite parenting techniques. Kids learn problem-solving skills and grow in responsibility while parents avoid power struggles. The problem becomes the focus rather than the parent being the bad guy by doling out punishments. Instead, parents play the role of consultants to help children deal with problems. Learn more here.


Avoiding extremes in parenting typically results in well-adjusted children.

Avoiding Extremes in Parenting

I have a motto: Stay on the road and out of the ditches. When you go to extremes you usually end up in trouble. This article explains how to take the benefits from different parenting methods without falling into the pitfalls that can come with being too extreme with them. It highlights the three main parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. Parents will learn how to find the right balance to create an environment for their children to thrive.


5 habits of a healthy family include eating meals together, showing interest in each others activities, participating in family chores, and spending quality time together.

5 Habits of a Healthy Family

Implementing consistent patterns in your family can reduce anxiety and help your family stay connected. This article highlights five habits you see in most healthy, well-functioning families. Implementing new habits can change the environment in your home and everyone's sense of belonging.

a step-by-step process to help teach children new skills

Teaching Your Children

Teaching kids how to do basic life skills seems like a never-ending process. This article highlights tried and true ways to help kids succeed and to avoid pitfalls. Following the step-by-step process and avoiding criticism will help your children succeed and want to learn.


A simple redirection can prevent meltdowns and behavior outbursts in children.  This skill can reduce the need to discipline.

Redirection

Redirection is a quick and easy parenting skill to avoid tantrums, meltdowns, and power struggles. This simple skill allows parents to save other parenting interventions for more complicated situations. This is simply intervening in a small situation to stop unwanted behavior and redirect the child in a different way. More information is available here.

It is best for parents to calmly respond rather than react to situations, remaining calm, present, and able to keep their children focused on problem solving.

Responding vs. Reacting

Your reaction to your child has a lot to do with how they act. If you get angry and start yelling, your child will likely either get angry as well or react with crying and withdrawing. Taking a moment to gather your thoughts and emotions before saying or doing anything can reduce stress and help improve communication and problem-solving. Find out the details here.



Children mimic what their parents do.  This article highlights ways to model the behavior you want to see in your children.

Little Mirrors

Children have a way of making us aware of who we really are. They are also quick to highlight our imperfections and failures. Since your kids will do what you do and repeat everything you say, it's important to be the kind of person you want your child to be. This article features a video about a mama who will hit you in the feels. She gets it! There is much to be learned about modeling.

You avoid power struggles by avoiding saying no.  This article shows how to say no without using the word no.


Watch Your Words to Avoid Power Struggles

Children hate the word no. They feel out of control and will often respond in anger or meltdowns. This article explains ways to set boundaries by changing your language and allowing your child to feel a sense of control and hope. You can say no without using the trigger word.

 

Divorce

Parents can reduce the distress of divorce on their children by implementing these 5 helpful tips.

5 Ways to Help your Children After Divorce

Divorce is hard on the entire family. This article highlights ways parents can minimize the impact on their children by using healthy communication, avoiding putting their children in the middle, and by minimizing changes their children must endure. Learn more here.

 

Anxiety

Children experience anxiety for many reasons including trauma, thoughts, chemical triggers, nutritional needs, and genetics.

How to Help Your Child with Anxiety

There are many reasons that children experience anxiety. It could be trauma, irrational thoughts, or unpleasant experiences from the past. Some anxiety is normal and to be expected. Anxiety can also come from chemical triggers, nutritional needs, and genetics. This guide offers ways for parents to intervene and tips for when more help is needed.


Hide and seek is playful, controlled exposure therapy to help children cope with separation anxiety.

Hide and Seek for Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety can be hard on both parents and children. This article on playing hide and seek for separation anxiety helps explain the process of helping children work through anxiety in a playful, secure environment. It is using exposure therapy to help kids become more comfortable with their parents' absence.


You can turn off the fight or flight response, which is responsible for panic attacks. These skills will help you regain control of your body when triggered.

How to Stop the Fight or Flight Response

The fight or flight response has a significant impact on the body and is a distressing aspect of anxiety. This article explains what the response it, why it occurs, and how to turn it off. This will help children gain mastery over their bodies' response to anxiety and anger.


Children can overcome nightmares by rescripting nightmares through using CBT skills.

CBT for Nightmares

Nightmares are terrifying and can disrupt sleep for the whole family. There are interventions to stop these nightmares. This article explains how to use cognitive behavioral therapy to rescript nightmares.

 

Grief

Parents can help children prepare for the anticipated death of a loved one and balance caring for their loved one while also helping their children cope.

Anticipatory Grief

Caring for a loved one in their final days is challenging. I speak from experience on this one. We have cared for both my husband's step-dad and his mom in our home during their final days. It is a hard balance to meet the needs of your ailing loved one while also meeting the demands of parenthood. This article offers tips and interventions to help your children understand what is happening and how to help them cope.

 

Behavior Issues

Understanding the personality style behind strong-willed children will help parents better cope and avoid power struggles that breed chaos and frustration.

Parenting a Strong-Willed Child

Power struggles lead in parenting lead to chaos. It tends to build over time and the blowups get bigger as the children grow if things do not change. This article highlights the reasons kids fight for control and ways parents can intervene without the fights.


There is motivation behind the lies children tell. This article helps bring awareness for these motivations which will help with problem solving and stopping the behavior.

The Truth Behind the Lies

There are many reasons children tell lies. This article highlights many different motivations. If you can figure out the motivation, you can then make a plan to change the behavior. It is addressing the root issue.


 

Foster Care

This article offers tips for foster parents to help children adjust to their home and to be sensitive to their needs and experiences.

Tips to Helping Foster Children Adjust to Your Home

Children in foster care experience deep grief and shock as well as trauma. Most have experienced trauma in their homelife resulting in the removal from the home, but they also experience trauma from just being separated from their family. This article helps foster parents recognize the needs of the kids and ways to make them feel more at home.


Children in foster care experience grief related to being separated from their family. This article helps foster families help them cope and offer support.

Grieving During the Holidays

Many people are aware of the difficulty people face after losing a loved one during the holidays, but often fail to consider how foster children feel about being separated from their loved ones. This article highlights ways to help them cope and to show sensitivity to their needs.


While parenting is hard, there are many ways to make it easier. I hope you have enjoyed this roadmap for parenting. Check back occasionally, as this page will grow and become more dynamic with time.

 

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